Every night I die, Every morning I’m reborn. Every second is a goodbye, Every second is a sunrise.
Many of us go through each day as though it’s merely a reset of yesterday.
We hope for a vacation or simply freedom from the old cage we live. In the way life doesn’t seem new anymore.
It is now merely a cage, a prison.
Some people wake up and wonder what mask to put on today.
Some people wake up and snooze to the memories long gone.
Some people wake up and already forgot the gift they have this very second.
That child inside that lives joyfully in our memories remains something exalted and exotic.
For many this is all they have to return to. This is all they have to live everyday in search of.
For others it is an empty shell which brings back pains and obscuring darkness.
It is the thing they seek to run away from. The fears that makes them hide who they are.
They fears that makes them want to escape from at any notice or sign.
Yet this very mechanism which we learn to fear or embrace grows from what is lost.
It is this very mechanism that also shadows us from loving each other and understanding who our partners truly are.
Love starts from understanding. It is love which gives a feeling of wholeness and completeness.
But at this moment it is this connection which many are desperately seeking.
Ironically at a time in history where we are more connected than every before. Where secrets are harder to keep hidden.
There’s both side of the coin to these many technologies that entertain us at every moment. Technology of ever progressing advancement that seeks to be the answer to the thing lost at heart.
Everything invented and external we now seek it to be the key to the limitless desires at bay. It is a human behavior to walk the road again and again for the missing pleasure. Hoping that doing the same thing will yield a different result.
A bottomless bit that needs to be filled. Somehow during this whole process it only seems more and more an eternal process.
During a bright day you only need to look across at the men and women hurrying to work. Pair of eyes like lifeless robots. Pair of eyes lost in thought. Pair of eyes lost in their learned mechanism.
Meanwhile during all of this seek and endless cycle. We seek to finally be seen, to be connected, to be whole.
We seek to understood beyond our mass of information, mask, and possession.
All of this can only end by beginning to understand ourselves.
To see the images which we place on other and the world around us.
To realize we already have the answer and we are the answer to our prayers and happiness.
Dream Reverie
These days I’m only trying to answer one question: Is this what I want?
Lot of times the problem is not that we do not know what we want to pursue in our lives.
The problem is that is that we are faced with so much fear and hesitancy to truly move towards it.
From the beginning the cage door was always open for us to leave, yet there’s a sense of hesitancy, a sense of unease, a sense of longing every time we are about to step out but look back.
There was a story about how the rangers first save the POWs from the war camp in Japan.
Even when these men finally realize they are about to be set free they still chose not to believe it. Some were even afraid to move forward and escape.
To these POWs this was their home, this was what they had known for 3 years, this was their idea of freedom-in prison.
It’s not that we don’t know what we want or perhaps lack the ability to achieve it if we put our mind to it. The biggest problem is the fear of forgoing what we have now to pursue what we might have in the future.
That’s the biggest sacrifice to our subconscious mind. That’s why habits are so reinforced in our mind.
Which is also why death is so scary to many people, because it is essentially leaving all that they had known.
Yet every night they die and live and cycles back again without one dot of awareness between.
Piaget wrote about how children are afraid of nightmares because they perceive the dream as a form of reality. This perception dulls as we grow to realize it is just a “dream”.
Is This a Dream?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure-Williamson
In this very moment we must first acknowledge the question: What do I want?
Have faith that deep inside there lies a profound answer waiting for us all this while.
This choice is not an easy one, this path is not a simple one.
Lot of times what you might found the hardest to part from are actually the friends and family you love.
Because one you found a purpose that’s bigger than you, bigger than this whole wide world, it seeks you and drives you day and night.
A purpose that transcends all that you experience in the past. And this means leaving the comfort zone of past habits.
It’s a choice that is chosen every moment every day.
This is a not an easy choice at all, but if you’re brave enough to come forward, if you are brave enough to choose-the world will contrive to make it come come true.
The hardest person to have faith in is ourselves, to choose what you want is to choose yourself, to have faith that it can be accomplished.
The Choice We All Make
Neither am I different. Deep down there’s also this fear of leaving behind as I look back at the cage.
Looking back I see all the happy and sad moments that made who I am today. It is truly difficult to say goodbye.
Looking back there were all these moments that truly were inspirational.
With friends walking a long journey in the forest discussing and enjoying the singing with the birds. Contemplating the world, contemplating philosophies.
Those moments even the silent ones embodies great beauty.
In an other moment it was my family and I sitting in a sushi restaurant as we laugh and enjoy the sushi rolls. They simple ones yet it lets me know that everything contains beauty.
The Moment of Truth
But this is a choice that we must face with honesty and bravery for the truth.
What is the beauty of life?
It is to live by the truth and always choose to move beyond mediocrity.
When you do, not a moment is waste, even the simple ones, the silent ones, the angry ones contains the truth of life.
When we choose to live by the truth, the candle of life is truly sparked.
If one day your hands grow wrinkled and your body weak and fatigue, what is it that you regret?
The decisions that you made bravely but failed, or the decisions that you cowardly walked away from?
The world doesn’t put us in the box of mediocrity, destiny doesn’t, other people doesn’t, it’s always the one who chooses his decisions that does.Love
Love Through Understanding
When we finally let go of our fears, let go of the image we see each other, let go of the worries, then we’ll truly begin to understand ourselves.
By letting go we’ll begin to live by the truth, the beauty of life.
This all begins by trying to understand your truth: what is it that I want?
There’s never a choice that doesn’t hold a price, but to treasure what is in front of us, is to love life.
We can’t share what we don’t have, we can only share happiness and love others when we can give ourselves happiness and choose to live the life we want to live.
